Showing posts with label NICU. Show all posts
2022 Rowen Family
photos and story here
Rowen family — full version
Pregnancy and childbirth complications: an outdated trend
Azizah Rowen, like most moms-to-be, was excited when she found out she was pregnant with her second son, Wilder. But sadly, like too many moms, she was also scared. “I was really nervous because I had had a lot of complications in my first pregnancy with Dash, my older son,” she says.
Azizah never had easy pregnancies. While Dash was born healthy and on time, she had two miscarriages prior to having him. In addition, she experienced gestational diabetes, placenta previa, and autoimmune complications, making her at high risk. “I was nervous and on edge the entire time I was pregnant,” she adds. But she was also confused—she and her husband, Craig, had never had any prior health complications. They were young and healthy.
Even still, she couldn’t anticipate what happened: waking up in the middle of the night and seeing that something was terribly wrong. She took an Uber by herself to the hospital so that Craig could stay home with Dash, who was two years old. Doctors didn't know why she was having such terrible complications and kept her overnight for monitoring, where she stayed for a couple of days. She thought “it was just a fluke.” But then it happened again.
31 weeks into her pregnancy, Azizah’s complications became worse. Doctors told her she needed to stay in the hospital until the baby was born. A week into her hospital stay, things took a turn for the worse. “I was having terrible complications where I was bleeding through the bedsheets,” she says. “And the doctors kept coming in and checking my vitals and at some point, said: ‘This is not safe anymore, we have to get your OB on the phone.’”
After evaluating her, Azizah’s obstetrician told her she needed a Cesarean delivery immediately. “You’re never prepared for being told that the situation is becoming dire,” Craig says. Wilder was born nearly two months early and weighed just 4 pounds. “I didn't hear a cry, so then I totally panicked, and I looked at Craig and was like, ‘Is he alive? Is he okay?’ And he just looked at me and he said, ‘I don't know.’” While Azizah stayed in recovery, Craig stayed in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) with Wilder.
“I had a baby, and I didn't even get to hold him or meet him for two or three days, which was really hard,” Azizah remembers. “And I got to hold him for the first time, and I was just terrified when I walked in there. It was so much worse than I had expected it to be. The sounds of the beeping and all those little babies in incubators, and tubes everywhere. It was really scary.”
Once discharged, Azizah spent mornings at home with Dash and then would go to the hospital and hold Wilder all day. She and Craig took comfort in the fact that he was surrounded by an amazing team of nurses. “That was the only sort of consolation when he was in the NICU—knowing that how great the women were,” Craig recalls. “It was the only way we could get any rest.”
After a 49-day battle in the NICU, Wilder was finally able to go home. “To this day, they still can't tell me why I had my baby early, and I think that's just a question that sort of haunted me,” Azizah says. “And March of Dimes is the organization that’s continuing to look into answers to those questions. It’s a special organization and we're just honored to have been a part of it for the last five years.”
Until the day comes when pregnancy and childbirth in the U.S. is safe for every mom and baby, March of Dimes will be in NICUs across the country, helping families like the Rowens. “Sharing our story’s healing for us and we’re hoping impactful and healing for others,” Craig adds.
Rowen family - short version
Pregnancy and childbirth complications: an outdated trend
Azizah Rowen was excited when she found out she was pregnant with her second son, Wilder. But sadly, she was also scared because she never had easy pregnancies. While her first son, Dash, was born healthy and on time, she had two miscarriages prior. In addition, she experienced “pretty much every complication in the book,” making her at high risk. “I was nervous and on edge the entire time I was pregnant,” she says. But she was also confused—she and her husband, Craig, had never had any prior health complications.
After an initial scare that led her to being monitored in the hospital for a few nights, 31 weeks into her pregnancy with Wilder, Azizah’s complications became worse. Doctors told her she needed to stay in the hospital until the baby was born. A week later, things took a turn for the worse—she needed a Caesarean delivery immediately. “You’re never prepared for being told that the situation is becoming dire,” Craig says. Wilder was born nearly two months early and weighed just 4 pounds.
Once out of recovery, Azizah spent mornings at home with Dash and then would go to the hospital and hold Wilder all day. She and Craig took comfort in the fact that he was surrounded by an amazing team of nurses. “That was the only sort of consolation when he was in the NICU—knowing that how great the women were,” Craig recalls. “It was the only way we could get any rest.”
After a 49-day battle in the NICU, Wilder was finally able to go home. “To this day, they still can't tell me why I had my baby early, and I think that's just a question that sort of haunted me,” Azizah says. “And March of Dimes is the organization that’s continuing to look into answers to those questions. It’s a special organization and we're just honored to have been a part of it for the last five years.” Until the day comes when pregnancy and childbirth in the U.S. is safe for every mom and baby, March of Dimes will be in NICUs across the country, helping families like the Rowens.
2022 WELLS WILLIAMS FAMILY STORY
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WELLS
WILLIAMS FAMILY STORY FULL VERSION
LOVE IS LOVE
While
every LGBTQIA+ couples’ journey toward becoming parents is different in
details, each begins the same: with love.
Kendra and Kelli Wells Williams never thought they’d get pregnant on the first
try with in vitro fertilization (IVF) but were excited and shocked when they did. “The first time I knew I was in
love with my daughter was when I felt her inside of me because I had wanted her
for so long,” Kendra shares. “And over the years it seemed like I may never
meet her.”
Like all new parents, they felt
wildly unprepared, but they found comfort in at least having nine months to get
ready. At their 22-week checkup with the high-risk group at Rush
Hospital in Chicago, Kendra’s doctor discovered that her cervix had begun to open,
and she needed to have emergency surgery to put in a cervical cerclage (sutures or synthetic tape to reinforce the
cervix during pregnancy) to keep her cervix closed until at
least 36–37 weeks. After some panic, Kendra and Kelli felt a sigh of relief and
carried on with their lives as usual.
Eleven
days later, one Sunday morning while they were out shopping for maternity
clothes, Kendra started to feel immense cramping. They immediately called their
OBGYN. “She told us in no uncertain terms that if we wanted the baby to
survive, that we needed to go directly to Rush,” Kendra recalls.
Once
they arrived at the hospital, Kendra’s water had broken and she was
hemorrhaging, and she needed multiple blood transfusions. She had to go under
general anesthesia and have an emergency Caesarian birth—for which she was
completely knocked out. Kaelyn was born at 24 weeks on May 15, 2011, weighing
one pound, five ounces.
When
Kendra woke up, Kaelyn had already been whisked away to the NICU. “It was quite
emotional being wheeled into the NICU the evening after I gave birth,” Kendra
adds. “I had never been in one before and there are tons of sounds. And there
were so many incubators just kind of in this large space, and parents, guardians
or visitors next to them. It was very overwhelming.”
With
her wife unconscious and healing after the surgery, Kelli’s entire focus was on
their new baby. She recalls “that heart-dropping moment when you realize your
kid’s barely big enough to fit in the doctor's hand.”
Though
initially terrified, the care they received from day one in the NICU helped ease
them into their new reality. “The care that we got that night as parents who
had never been exposed to anything like this, the doctor handheld us and walked
us through what our daughter's life could be like at two in the morning,” Kelli
adds. “She sat with us for over an hour, and that's when I believed that my kid
could live and be okay.”
Kendra
and Kelli couldn’t hold their new baby until nearly a week later. Kaelyn had
already experienced a surgery by then—six days after she was born. Her lungs were underdeveloped, and she had many difficulties,
including an intraventricular hemorrhage (bleeding inside or around the ventricles in the brain), which fortunately drained on its own.
“I'm
a police officer, I've been in life threatening situations, I was in a house
fire—nothing can compare to the fear of having a child in the NICU,” Kelli emphasizes.
The
NICU is an undeniable scary place, but Kendra is thankful for her two primary
nurses, who were part of the March of Dimes NICU Family Support® program, as
she only felt comfortable leaving the hospital for a few hours each day because
she knew Kaelyn was safe in their care.
After
17 long weeks in the NICU, Kaelyn was ready to go home. “It was
probably one of the happiest days of my life to just finally be able to take
her home, hold her without tubes and cords and someone being there to watch us—to
just get her home to our quiet apartment, and it just be us as a family the way
we always hoped that it would be,” Kendra says.
Kaelyn is 11 today, and she does face
some challenges: she was diagnosed with ADHD when she was five; she’s gone
through physical, developmental, occupational and speech therapy; and she suffers
from sensory processing disorder and anxiety.
Being
a same-sex couple, Kendra and Kelli have faced many challenges of their own. “There
have been instances in our pregnancy where we were treated differently,” Kendra
says. “Some by just regular people, not grasping the concept of two married
women trying to start a family. A lot of assumptions that we were sisters—and
that's why she was at appointments with me.”
On
top of all that, they’ve experienced legal obstacles…”obstacles that heterosexual
couples wouldn't experience, even if they weren't married,” Kendra adds. “For
instance, Kelli could never sign off any documents in the hospital because
technically Kaelyn wasn't legally her daughter.” While
Kelli did legally adopt Kaelyn as planned, she couldn’t sign any hospital
documents or give permission for any procedures until the adoption was
finalized, as her name wasn’t on Kaelyn’s birth certificate.
In Illinois
in 2011, civil unions weren’t yet legal (they wouldn’t be until a year later)—and
gay marriage wouldn’t be legalized until 2014. “We've jumped through a lot of hoops
to make sure our family is secured and safe, and that we can both act as
parental figures for Kaelyn,” Kendra says.
But luckily, their experience at
the hospital was overall positive. “From conception through delivery, through our time in
the NICU, they included and accepted me without question from day one,” Kelli
shares. “Having that acceptance was everything because that's the last thing I
could have probably dealt with at that time, was them questioning my love for
my kid or whether or not I should be able to make that decision,” she shares.
Kendra
and Kelli are beyond grateful for the lifesaving surfactant therapy that Kaelyn
was able to get, thanks to March for Dimes’ research. That’s why they continue
to raise funds and take part in the March for Babies walks today.
While
they’re unable to have any more babies of their own, in July 2021, Kendra and
Kelli decided to grow their family by adopting their daughter, Layla—who went
home with them when she was three days old. “Kaelyn was excited at the thought of
having a sibling because she's wanted one for a long time,” Kendra shares. “And
I've had to have conversations with her that always brings upon my mom guilt
about why I can't just have another baby in my tummy. Having Layla in the
family has helped her mature a little bit because
she can see how much of a role model she is for Layla. Layla completely adores Kaelyn—to
watch the magic of these two, it's been amazing.”
Together,
let's ensure healthy pregnancies for all families, no matter who they are. As Kendra puts it: “Love is family, regardless of what
that's composed of.”
WELLS
WILLIAMS FAMILY STORY SHORT VERSION
LOVE IS LOVE
While
every LGBTQIA+ couples’ journey toward becoming parents is different in
details, each begins the same: with love. Kendra
and Kelli Wells Williams were excited and shocked to have gotten pregnant on
their first try with in
vitro fertilization (IVF). While they initially felt—as all
new parents do—wildly unprepared, they took comfort in having nine months to
get ready. However, their daughter Kaelyn was born way too
soon at 24 weeks on May 15, 2011, weighing one pound, five ounces. Her lungs were underdeveloped, and she had many difficulties,
including needing surgery.
After
17 long weeks in the NICU, Kaelyn was ready to go home. “It was
probably one of the happiest days of my life to just finally be able to take
her home, hold her without tubes and cords and someone being there to watch us—to
just get her home to our quiet apartment, and it just be us as a family the way
we always hoped that it would be,” Kendra shares. Kaelyn is 11 today, and she does face some challenges: she was diagnosed
with ADHD when she was five; she’s gone through physical, developmental,
occupational and speech therapy; and she suffers from sensory processing
disorder and anxiety.
Being
a same-sex couple, Kendra and Kelli have faced many challenges of their own:
from people not grasping the concept of two women trying to start a family, to
legal obstacles involving Kelli adopting Kaelyn. In Illinois in 2011, civil
unions weren’t yet legal (they wouldn’t be until a year later)—and gay marriage
wouldn’t be legalized until 2014. “We've jumped through a lot of hoops to make
sure our family is secured and safe, and that we can both act as parental
figures for Kaelyn,” Kendra says.
While
they’re unable to have any more babies of their own, in July 2021, Kendra and
Kelli decided to grow their family by adopting their daughter, Layla—and Kaelyn
is thrilled to be a big sister. “Love
is family, regardless of what that's composed of,” Kendra adds.
Together,
let’s ensure healthy pregnancies for all families, no matter who they are.