Morgan family story – Full version
Beyond preterm birth: A journey of hope and healing through trauma
For many new parents, the birth of a baby can be both a joyful and anxiety-ridden time. But it can also trigger something they never expected: depression.
Jacque Morgan knew something was wrong when, at only 28 weeks of pregnancy, she started experiencing complications. “It all happened really quickly—I just remember calling into work, not feeling well, going to the hospital, and being rushed up to labor and delivery,” she says.
Jacque was diagnosed with HELLP (Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes and Low Platelets) syndrome, a life-threatening pregnancy complication usually considered to be a variant of preeclampsia.
That night, her daughter, Emma, was born 10 weeks early, weighing just 1 pound, 15 ounces.
“The first time I walked into the NICU, Jacque was unable to join me,” Jacque’s husband, Jason, recalls. “Emma was in an incubator. It was scary—I was scared to touch my baby; I was scared to look at my baby.”
While Emma was healing in the NICU, Jacque was recovering from her traumatic birth experience…the beginning of a long, challenging journey.
Most new moms (up to 80%) experience "baby blues" after childbirth: mild sadness, crying, or anxiety that usually wears off a week or two after delivery. But some new moms, like Jacque, experience a more severe, long-lasting form of depression.
Unfortunately, the Morgan family is part of the current maternal and infant health crisis our country is facing. They’re 1 in 10 who experience preterm birth each year, and Jacque is one of the nearly 15% of women who experience postpartum depression.
“While in the NICU, the care for me felt robotic,” Jacque recalls. “I had become numb to the joy and yet I just thought that if we made it home everything would be OK, I would feel connection.”
When a baby must stay in the NICU after they’re born, sadly the natural parent-baby attachment is interrupted. “Before we could touch Emma, we had to wash our hands up to our elbows and if we wanted to take a picture of our baby, we would need to do that process all over again anytime we touched our cell phone,” Jacque says. “Jason and I would trade off who would get to hold Emma during our visit as there was a limited amount of time that she could be out of her isolette.”
Finally, after 56 days in the NICU, on a snowy winter day the three of them made their journey home. “In the silence of December 22, my birthday, I sat there holding our 4-pound, 4-ounce baby with the twinkling of Christmas lights and hope for connection,” Jacque says.
But a month went by, and she still struggled with connection. “I didn’t seek out to hold Emma unless it was for a reason,” Jacque says. “I felt rage, I was tired all the time, emotional, and OCD in making record of her feedings, diapers, and washing hands. I loved my baby, but something was happening to my mind and body, and I needed help.”
But throughout all of this, feelings of guilt persisted: “I felt ashamed and guilty that after everything we went through in the NICU and had survived when others hadn’t, that even though we made it home, I still needed care,” Jacque says. But after talking to Jason and doing research, she was able to find the resources she needed through March of Dimes. “What I really liked about the March of Dimes website is that everything is proven—it's research based and there's no agenda,” Jacque says. “I felt like it was a resource that I could trust.”
After a few months of therapy and being given the tools that she needed to heal and process her trauma, Jacque began to feel better. She continued therapy for about a year. “I know that without access to healthcare and the support of my family and friends, the outcome of suffering from postpartum depression would have taken a dark turn…and it does for many women who suffer alone without support,” she says.
Fortunately, Emma didn’t experience any complications after coming home. “She just loves life,” Jacque says. “Looking at her today, she is petite for her age, but she’s thriving in all aspects of her life.”
Jacque and Jason are supporters of March of Dimes to this day. “We support March of Dimes because it has helped us through the hardest part of our life so far,” says Jason. “And it really is needed by a lot of families.”
With the support of people like the Morgans and you, we’re funding research, programs, support, and advocacy needed to improve mom and baby health for every family, and to ensure every mom has access to the mental healthcare she needs.
Morgan family story – Short version
Beyond preterm birth: A journey of hope and healing through trauma
For many new parents, the birth of a baby can be both a joyful and anxiety-ridden time. But it can also trigger something they never expected: depression.
Jacque Morgan knew something was wrong when, at only 28 weeks of pregnancy, she started experiencing complications. She was diagnosed with HELLP syndrome, a life-threatening pregnancy complication usually considered to be a variant of preeclampsia.
That night, her and Jason’s daughter, Emma, was born 10 weeks early, weighing just 1 pound, 15 ounces. While Emma was healing in the NICU, Jacque was recovering from her traumatic birth experience…the beginning of a long, challenging journey.
“While in the NICU, the care for me felt robotic,” Jacque recalls. “I had become numb to the joy and yet I just thought that if we made it home everything would be OK, I would feel connection.”
Finally, 56 days later the Morgans left the NICU for good. But once home, Jacque still struggled to bond with Emma and started showing signs of postpartum depression. After a few months of therapy to process her trauma, Jacque began to feel better. She continued therapy for about a year.
Fortunately, Emma didn’t experience any complications after coming home and is “thriving in all aspects of her life.”
“We support March of Dimes because it has helped us through the hardest part of our life so far,” says Jason. “And it really is needed by a lot of families.”
